What’s in Your Lifeboat?
“All beginnings are delightful; the threshold is the place to pause.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We are truly at a — possibly the — watershed moment of our lifetimes. A massive inflection point in human history. A threshold across which life will look entirely different, will never be the same.
A threshold teeming with fear and looming with uncertainty.
A threshold from which there is no turning back, only forward.
A threshold which invites us to pause — to come together as one in a Great Collective Pause — and contemplate what to carry across with us in our metaphorical lifeboats and what to leave behind.
Apparently, I’ve been training for this moment for quite some time now. Social distancing has been my way of life since I moved up to West Sonoma County in 2012. Transformation has been an intention and practice since my mom’s suicide on Mother’s Day 12 years ago woke me up to my own deep unhappiness and catalyzed a quest to find joy within. A practice that has intensified and accelerated since the beginning of 2020 — leaving me feeling thrashed by the universal ocean, living my own personal upheaval.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, like a supermassive tsunami in our universal ocean, a global pandemic happened. Suddenly I wasn’t alone in feeling lost and alone.
Feeling completely and utterly disrupted, like my world had simultaneously been turned upside-down and inside-out.
Feeling like everything I thought I knew and could count on was suddenly open to question.
Feeling like I had no idea what all this painful, radical transformation and suffering was leading to or if it would ever end.
Suddenly I had company. All the company as everyone on the planet joined me in Home Alone: The NeverEnding Story.
If you didn’t understand the concepts of collective consciousness or universal oneness before, they’ve now been made visible. While we may be physically alone, we’ve never been more aware of our interconnectedness or of being part of something much larger than ourselves.
And we’re getting a master class in impermanence and non-attachment.
It feels like we’re in that moment after a tsunami when the water recedes far out beyond where the eye can see. You know another wave is coming. You have no idea how big it will be or how many others will follow. You have no idea when calm will return.
In all likelihood, we will face a series of waves. So, it’s important to think about how we reorient ourselves — how we get our bearings and catch our breath between sets, being present with what is while also preparing for what’s next.
Now is the time for curiosity. For listening inwards.
The wonderful woos down in Wooville, where I’ve been blessed to live these past seven years, make a ritual practice of “thresholding” — contemplating where we’ve been, where we are, where we’re going and what to bring with us in our lifeboat as we journey across the threshold into the future. Celebrating each new year with reflection and journaling exercises that you may find helpful during this universal pause, this macro moment of ma 間.
The journaling practice goes something like this and can be adapted to suit your personal preferences. You can do this on your own or make a group Zoom out of it. From personal experience I can say that being witnessed as you complete this ritual is incredibly powerful so I’d recommend making it a communal experience. I also recommend using separate pages for each list for reasons that will become clear shortly.
Gratitude: Start by reflecting back on the previous year (or time period of choice) and write down all the things that you are grateful for.
Letting Go: Then consider and make a list of all the things you choose to leave behind — all that no longer serves you — as you cross the threshold into the future.
Know Thyself: Take stock of yourself and think about the skills, experiences and core values that define you — mining for your essential ingredients to remind you of the awesomeness you have to work with as you create your future self.
Manifestation: Then turn your attention to the future and think about and write down all the things you want to manifest in the coming year.
Inviting In: While keeping this future focus, consider what you are inviting in — support you are open to receiving from the Universe — in the coming year and write those things down.
Space For: As you cross this threshold, what are you making space for? Make a list.
Prepare to Burn: Now, find a fire-safe space and container.
Read and Release: Read each list out loud one at a time and then burn it to release its energy. Lather, rinse repeat until you have read aloud, burned and released all of your wish lists into the Universe.
Blessing: Say aloud, “May it be so. And so, it is.”
You are Complete: You have completed your ritual.
We find ourselves in a rare and powerful moment of universal transformation and shared vulnerability — an opportunity for rebirth on a scale never before possible. We must be mindful of how we’re provisioning and orienting our lifeboats as we journey across this threshold to the future to ensure we’re not carrying the dead weight of beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve us and perhaps never did.
The big unanswered question — how are we going to respond?
Are we going to expand or contract?
Choose hope or fear?
Practice kindness or cruelty?
Come together or fall apart?
During this season of rebirth and renewal, I hope you will join me in having the courage to face the chaos and uncertainty of the current moment with an open, curious, loving and compassionate heart. Choosing light over darkness, love over fear, WE over me.
If you’d like a partner as you dig deep to respond to this moment, please book a curious conversation to explore how the Vulnerability Doula can be of service to you.