DREAM BIG! Reclaiming Your Golden Sphere of Potential
“It is never too late to be who you might have been." - George Eliot
“DREAM BIG! Dream as BIG as possible! Sit in space of possibility! Approach everything including obstacles with possibility. Go beyond what you believe is possible for yourself.”
Her words echoed in my head and filled me with anxiety and self-doubt and more than a little dread. It was our first reinvention coaching group call and our fearless leader, the Queen of Reinvention, was laying out the ground rules for our engagement. Her excitement was palpable, mine suddenly vanished and I felt a pit in my stomach as I sat with her challenge to dream without limits.
I realized in that moment that I had never really dreamt big, had never been taught or invited to dream big!
Sure, I had spent the better part of 25 years in Silicon Valley helping to make other people’s crazy big dreams come true. And yes, every time someone came to me asking for help with their personal big dream, I was their biggest champion, cheerleader and did everything in my power to help them.
But I had never allowed myself to dream big or even thought to do so. I had never explored my own audacious visions of the future much less worked to realize them. I had always worked inside containers of possibility created by others and jumped through hoops they defined. I was an exceptional performer but a big dreamer, not so much.
We all come into this world as radiant, golden spheres of potential and unlimited possibility. Spheres within which we have superpowers to manifest anything our souls desire, to make all of our big dreams come true.
As we grow and experience life, a whole cast of characters work to ensure our self-preservation and, in the process, limit our dreams and our selves. The world, our past experiences, our parents, our fears and our inner critics start to slowly but methodically chip away at our wholeness, limiting our potential in a litany of shoulds, don’ts and can’ts.
“You can’t be a musician” they tell us, “few make it and there’s no money in it.”
“Take time off and travel the world??!! Don’t do that! It’ll leave a gap on your resume that will make you less employable.”
“You shouldn’t follow your heart and leave this job you hate without having a new job lined up or you’ll never get hired again.”
“Don’t try that [insert new thing here]! Remember the last time you tried something new and failed spectacularly. You definitely shouldn’t do that again.”
And on and on in a self-defeating, self-limiting cacophony of NO.
I’m guessing more than a few of you are familiar with this less than self-affirming inner dialogue and the limitations it imposes on what you can do and be in the world. I know I am!
I experienced this early on in my journey when I quit the first job I had out of college — a four-year stint on Madison Avenue during which I discovered that the advertising industry was one beset by identity crises and fear of future disruptions looming on the horizon, not to mention rampant sexual harassment — and moved to Northern California.
I didn’t have another job lined up and had absolutely no clue as to my future direction. I spent the next ten months casting the widest net possible, considering a dizzying range of future career possibilities — from medical school (inner voices: “you’ll have zero control over where you’ll end up geographically, you didn’t do the pre-med coursework) and law school (inner voices: “Dad was a lawyer and said be anything but that) to social work (inner voices: a career path characterized by being underpaid and overworked/whelmed) and more artistic pursuits (inner voices: you’re not creative enough, there are so many writers and artists out there struggling to make ends meet, you might as well toss that Stanford degree into the bin and go get a waitressing job) and so many more.
As each idea entered my brain, I watched as the chorus of “protective” voices in my head took aim and shot down each and every idea — every big dream — before I even had a chance to try it on for size. For all that I told myself I wasn’t, I was an expert markswoman of dream-killing!
The result of all this is that our big, beautiful golden spheres of potential and possibility shrink down to a tiny sliver or a few disconnected fragments of possibility deemed safe and socially acceptable for us to live within. Islands in our vast sea of potential.
Our inner light dims as we set our sights lower and lower in order to live within the boundaries of what’s deemed realistic, practical, achievable and we watch our hopes and dreams float off into the ether.
Interestingly, the resulting choices map neatly to the list of socially sanctioned identities and labels I talked about in my previous post “What’s On My Floordrobe — A Sea of Discarded Labels and Identities”.
We don’t just end up in possibility jail, we literally lose massive chunks of ourselves and our soul’s purpose becomes constrained by a tiny straitjacket. We no longer feel whole because we no longer are whole.
We go through the motions, surrounded by other beings doing the same, slowly dying rather than boldly living. No wonder so many of us suffer from depression and anxiety and exhibit signs of soul-loss!
In a Newtonian-esque law of self-expression, a self in limitation stays in limitation unless acted upon by a more powerful force.
Here’s a secret — you are that powerful force! You may be disconnected from your own powers for personal transformation — I know I was! But you hold the key to your own happiness. All the wisdom and answers you seek lie within you.
To reclaim your golden sphere of potential and become the beautiful, multi-faceted gem you were meant to be in this precious lifetime, the best place to start is in a state of quiet contemplation and loving curiosity. Asking yourself powerful questions:
Who am I?
What sets my soul on fire?
What does my ideal day look like?
What magic do I want to make happen in the world?
What matters to me, what do I really care about?
What are my unique gifts and how can I use them for the greatest good of the greatest number?
Why did my soul choose this moment to incarnate and what is my soul’s purpose in this lifetime?
What makes me feel joy?
What activities or experiences do I get lost in and forget the time?
What did I want to be when I was a child?
Questions like these coupled with a lot of deep breathing and self-love will light the way for you to reclaim your wholeness and realize your potential.
It won’t happen all at once and you’ll probably find, as I have, that as you start to stretch out from your little sliver-like islands of possibility into the vast golden sea of potential that surrounds them, the urge to retreat back to the safety of the known will be strong.
Keep at it! Keep exploring! Have the courage to return to the sea and learn to swim in the unknown, exploring the riches that lie in the places you fear to go. I can tell you from personal experience that it’s totally worth it!
And if you feel like you need a partner in this courageous journey of self-discovery and the realization of your big dreams, I’m here to help. Please book a curious conversation to explore how the Vulnerability Doula can be of service to you.
You totally got this! :)
Are you with me? More importantly, are you with YOU?!